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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25433497">Hope of my Heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilycare/pseuds/emilycare'>emilycare</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sense and Sensibility - All Media Types, Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Duelling, Epistolary, F/M, Friendship/Love, Love Letters, Pining, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:42:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,711</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25433497</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilycare/pseuds/emilycare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Correspondence and some letters never sent. From Colonel Brandon about and to Miss Marianne Dashwood.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Colonel Brandon/Marianne Dashwood, Marianne Dashwood/John Willoughby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alodis/gifts">Alodis</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A birthday gift of a little more in mind of our beloved AR. For my dear boo, Elodie/Alodis.</p><p>Please note that the first name for Col. Brandon used here is from the 2008 film. No name is given in the novel.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>NB: The Eliza addressed here is Eliza Williams, Col. Brandon's ward and the daughter of his lost love, also named Eliza.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My dearest Eliza,</p><p>I send this letter to you in the hopes of your continued good health and happiness. Thank you for your account of your studies. However, I do urge you to please not set aside your understanding of the sciences in favor of languages and the arts. Poetry has its place, as does the fine craft of reproducing the world in line and color. However, there are matters of money and number which will be with you always. To apply yourself now, while fortune has afforded this opportunity to you will be to gather up stores for your future self. Even as prayers for others may be a source of blessing for you in heaven. Please consider my words, not just as the urgings of your guardian, but as a friend who has moved through the world and seen much of its good and bad. I hope to be able to provide you as much as possible to make your life long, happy and full of all that providence may bring your way. I do know that your young life has already brought much trial and sadness to your door. I hope through such things as your lessons to avert these for you in the future.</p><p>Also, I have occasion to inform you of an acquaintance I have made in my neighborhood. A family of women has joined us here, living at Barton Cottage. These women may prove an example to you. Both of the vicissitudes of fortune, and of the strength of character and fortitude that can be required to carry through trials at all stages of one’s life. They are four women together. Mrs. Dashwood, Miss Dashwood, and Misses Marianne and Margaret. They are intelligent, bright women of good spirit. All of whom are accomplished both at an art of their choice, literature and the household sciences. The are unfortunate enough to have lost their beloved husband and father of late, and have of necessity removed themselves to the quiet environs of our neighborhood at the loss of his support through the entailment of their estate.</p><p>I would wish to make your acquaintance of all of them. Mrs. Dashwood is kind and loving. She has a heart as would warm your own and I am sure that she would enfold you in her care as she does her daughters and all those who cross her path. The eldest, Miss Dashwood is a woman of great integrity and sense. She has been a stable source of encouragement and good advice to the others throughout their ordeal.  The youngest is a lively spirit, who I believe does best from their removal to the country. You would love her bonnie pink cheeks and laughter as she sprints across the meadows.</p><p>It is the middle daughter, Miss Marianne Dashwood, whom I most especially wish I could make your acquaintance with. She is a young woman, somewhat near in age to yourself. A woman of deep sensibilities. An admirer of the great poets of our age, as you may appreciate. She is a woman of strong passions, a defender of those she loves with a fiery spirit. And a commitment to the authenticity of her life and of the experience of those around her that I have never seen equalled. I believe if she was a man, she would have been well placed in politics or warfare. She has a look of Jeanne D’Arc about her. You will call me whimsical, but I can see her riding at the head of a cavalry, besieging castles and kingdoms, and bringing the fire to thousands with the light in her eyes and the power in her speech.</p><p>But here in this world, she is a young lady trying to find her way in a world that is set against making it easy for those who are not possessed of their own fortune, or the grace to inherit or marry into it from others. In short, I believe she is a person to whom you would gravitate. And in whom I believe you might find a confidant, a source of comfort, and a friend. That you might both find such were you able to be together is a fond hope of my heart. And as it is not my place to speak of anything further than the glancing acquaintance I now share with her, I will be silent upon any wishes which may have lodged in my breast. But I trust you may understand your old guardian’s heart as well as any man, and may add your prayers to my own in hope for happiness to perhaps visit my dooryard, in time.</p><p>I send as always my love and highest respect to your companions and etc.</p><p>Your devoted uncle,</p><p>Christopher Brandon</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A letter from Col. Brandon to Miss Marianne Dashwood, to be delivered should he not survive a duel with Mr. Willoughby.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My Dear Marianne Dashwood,</p><p>If this letter finds its way to you, then I pray you forgive my impertinence in using your Christian name for address. Please take it as my final wish to greet you this way at least once while we both walk the same pleasant green ways of Earth together.</p><p>There, that is done. I anticipate your kind and generous heart would see fit to grant that boon. If that is all you will, please burn this message and release it to the wind, knowing that another heart beat the stronger for knowing you.</p><p>And if you see fit, I entreat you to read on, that you may know more of my ways. The piteous happenings of my life may be of some interest to you at my passing. At the minimum I hope to relieve some curiosity you may hold of my view of various proceedings. And perhaps, see fit to instruct or broaden your experience in some way which may be of use to you in life. And, at best, I wish to make an introduction to you of someone I hold most dear.</p><p>I was not always the sober figure you met at Barton Cottage. It will surprise you to no end, I am sure, to understand that poetry was (and is) a great love of mine. There was a time that a quotation was as close to my lips and tongue always as the air. It has been on the tip of that tongue many times to answer you in kind as you quoted the eternal bard. And love--devoted, passionate love--did grace my life as indeed it seems to have yours. I pray to God in heaven that it may cross your path more kindly than it did me and my beloved. As well as the true subject of this letter to you today: my ward, Miss Elizabeth Williams, known affectionately to me and others as Eliza. I hope you should think of her thus also.</p><p>Miss Eliza Williams is not, as is often supposed, my child. Instead she is the child of a great love of my life, also named Elizabeth. She was a woman of great courage of conviction. A kind and thoughtful soul, entrusted to the care and upbringing of my father. Our fondness as friends grew to a deep and mutual love and affection. However, my father’s wisdom was to bestow the hand of my dear friend instead to my brother. I fear that this match was wrong in every way. From unmatched temperaments, to a harshness of manner which caused my Elizabeth to leave him. She was lost to us all for many years. She traveled the road of perdition, upon which I sought her. And found her, at death’s door, with a child from some unknown union. With her last breath she asked me to care for her little Eliza as though she were my own.</p><p>I have endeavored to do this thing. Providence has blessed me with comfort and income with which to provide for her. However, an ill fate seems to follow the footsteps of our lineage. For Eliza had come into the influence of a certain gentleman known also to your family and in your own close acquaintance. Mr Willoughby.</p><p>And, it has come to my attention that not only has he turned my poor young Eliza’s head with flattery and false affections, but he has taken a step which will no doubt plunge her into peril. One which has the potential to dash her hopes of freedom and happiness. Much as was done to her own mother. I rage against my inability to see that this was happening. I will live in guilt at the breach of promise which I offered with a full, undivided heart to her mother.</p><p>It is a saving grace that we have recovered our beautiful Eliza. She is safe and once more amongst those who love her. And we welcome as well the new addition which her return will bring to our halls. I pray with all my strength and will and heart that her feelings may one day heal from the betrayal she suffered at the hand of this Willoughby. And I pray that she may find her way in life to the happiness I and her mother so wished for her. I will do all which is in my earthly ability to make this so. In living or in death.</p><p>So, dear lady, I come to the end of this letter. I ask not for your heart to turn to me, for I know that youth so often may not answer age. But I do ask that you may look kindly upon the poor twice wronged Eliza. Who may come to lose both her guardians due to romantic mischance. I walk now to the duelling grounds with a heavy heart. Burning with righteous anger at the wrongs done. But drooping with a horror at what this act to defend her honor, may do to her chances at life. I ask not for your forgiveness, but instead ask for your kindness and understanding for Eliza.</p><p>And I implore you to look more deeply at the heart and character of that fellow whom I have named who, it appears, would offer you so much more than he has to give. And could ask from you so much more than he has any right to expect from a lady of such beauty, and purity of soul such as yourself.</p><p>I stand always,</p><p>Your Obedient Servant,</p><p>Colonel Christopher Brandon</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A letter written, never to be shared.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Miss Marianne,</p><p>Dearest Marianne, as you have graciously allowed me to address you. I write you now in a quiet moment in between precious visits with you. Some weeks have passed since your illness has abated, and still it seems a miracle to find you living, breathing, reading and even walking now, growing stronger by and by.</p><p>Your spirit is like that of a star. A glowing, shining thing. Unique in all the heavens, in the fortitude and constancy which you have held for that which you love. Your loyalty to your sisters is unyielding. Your love for your mother is a beacon. Your devotion and sureness fixed that the Mr. W who you came to know in these glowing fields of green was the true one. Your certainty unshakeable that the heart he showed to you was as whole as your own. And in ignorance of all the evidence against this as you were, I salute your fealty to that vision. In the least defense of that man, I do believe that if anyone might have lifted him from the depravity of spirit to which he was so inclined to descend, it would have been you, o star-souled Marianne.</p><p>But instead, I see you now with that surety lost. That fixed mark gone from view. And my soul weeps for the loss of the passion and fire that burned within you. Which the fever seems to have burned out as well.</p><p>But the strength of spirit which shone in you is still present. It remains in the compassion you show for your sister now. As she faces the loss of her hope of love upon the marriage of Mr Ferrars to that perfidious Lucy Steele. The love of you two sisters will see you through. And the support of your friends in the face of difficulty and obstruction will be present. For your greatness of heart has inspired love amongst those who know you, and who are happy enough to see your true worth.</p><p>Thus I salute your unbending spirit. And pledge to be here to help you and all those you love in any way I may.</p><p>It has been my privilege to offer an opportunity for employment to help Mr Ferrars. I wish you may know that it is out of respect for your sister and the esteem she may have held for this gentleman. But is fueled by my great desire to do aught that may assist your family, even so distantly as for a friend and onetime companion. He seems a man who, like yourself, is unaltering in the face of challenge and trial. Your sister's fortitude, too, is something I marvel at. I fervently wish that in time she finds one whose feelings are yet unattached, who can truly appreciate the depth and quality of one such as she. </p><p>Your entire family put to shame the vast majority of mankind. Should this combination of sweetness and strength be found more commonly among us, I believe a world of woes should be expunged.</p><p>In the face of other matters which fate declines to amend, I hope to find opportunities to do what I can for you and your family. It is my greatest wish to some day see you find full healing, restored peace and a gladdened mind, which you deserve so richly. And to see you find love--sure, abiding love--which can bring back the vivid luster of happiness to the temple of your soul. </p><p>With all respect and admiration,</p><p>Your Faithful Neighbor,</p><p>Col. Brandon</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A letter set upon the table by her bed, where Marianne was sure to find it come the dawn.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dearest Marianne,</p><p>I leave this note for you, my beloved, knowing you will most like see me before you wake and read these words. But my heart is too full for the night to keep me from telling you all that it holds within.</p><p>Let me first say that my pulse beats with gratitude, day and night. For the breath that keeps your soul flying free in this mortal world we share. For the mother whose life framed yours. And for each blessed day of sunshine and night of quiet shade which sheltered you until such day dawned as let you bend to give your heart to mine. And my heart is yours, for each next step we walk together, and each day we begin and end as one.</p><p>Second, let me praise you. In all the grace and fire and power that the spirit of your youth has shaped into the bright light that is you. And in all the calm, thoughtful vigor that you have assumed of late. In the maturing of your mind and soul, I wish you ease to lighten the hard blows which your spirit has taken.</p><p>But third, let me salute the resilience which flows in you. The quickened sap of creativity which shows in your smile. In your steady hand. In the lively heart which each day I see returns in your music and appetite for all that is beauteous and good in the world.</p><p>I pray that the love you so generously offered to me with your hand in marriage may deepen and grow freely, with the roots of the trees surrounding our home. That your spirit may drink deep of the waters of the earth, rooted in the land as my love for you is rooted deep in my heart, and that you may reach high, towards the sky, towards the sun and the stars, to reach the heights which your richness of essence is the true heir.</p><p>Dearest, dearest Marianne. My love and true soul. I hope you know that day or night, my love is with you. And that the deepest wish of my heart is to help you live the life of truth and freedom which you have yearned for since first you drew breath on this earth.</p><p>With every iota of my heart,</p><p>Your beloved and grateful,</p><p>Christopher</p>
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